Escape from Smash-atraz
by Junior BLD
Summary: Join the Smashers on these hilarious adventures. Come along with your favorite characters as they escape from prison, climb a giant beanstalk, take care of a baby princess, and go on a prehistoric quest for pizza. Many other adventures will follow. A parody of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi, everyone! So, this story was requested by Retro mania! I hope you enjoy it!**

Escape from Smash-atraz

Smashers Log 1051:

They were up the stream without a Smash Ball. Bowser had captured them and put them on trial for their lives.

"All rise for his honor, the dis-honorable Judge Bowser!" Bowser Jr. ordered Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toon Link, who were in chains.

Bowser walked into the courtroom, much to the defendants' displeasure, and banged his gavel on the stand in front of him. "Smash Court is now in session," he said sinisterly. "Junior, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!"

Bowser Jr. pulled out a piece of paper and began to read, his voice dripping with malice. "Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, and Toon Link. You are charged with disrupting the villains' way of life, Smashing without a license, and not eating your pasta. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty!" Mario said, particularly when he thought of the three bowls of spaghetti he had eaten just this morning.

"Not guilty!" Luigi declared, his fists pulled up to his chin in fright.

"Not guilty!" Toon Link claimed feistily, knowing full well that Smash battles didn't require a license.

"Not guilty!" Peach said, her tone far from the helpless princess everyone made her out to be.

"Let the record show the four criminals confessed to every crime!" Bowser said, totally ignoring the captive heroes.

Peach wouldn't hear it, though. "Bowser! We just said we didn't do those things!" she cried in outrage.

Bowser pounded his gavel on the table again. "We've got laws in this court against disrespecting the judge!"

"Why do I get the feeling he's gonna throw the book at us?" Toon Link asked warily.

Just then, a huge book sailed past their heads and the defendants recoiled in shock. "That'll get you another fifty years!"

"Hold it, Bowser!" Mario demanded, "Don't we get to talk in our own defense first?"

The Koopa king thought for a moment. "I'll give you… five minutes."

"I'd like to say-"

"Time's up!" Bowser interrupted. "Has the jury reached a decision in this case?"

The jury, which consisted of Wario, King Dedede, Dark Pit, Wolf, Ganondorf, and the remainder of Bowser's Koopaling children, began whispering among themselves.

"Guilty! Or I'll feed you to this Piranha Plant!" Bowser motioned to a red, white-spotted plant with sharp teeth growing in a green pot.

The jury didn't need Bowser's threat to agree to that, nor would their minds change in the slightest without it.

"They say 'guilty', Papa!" Bowser Jr. reported, "Just like we planned!"

"Junior, prepare the scales of justice for the criminals!" Bowser commanded.

"The real crime is this phony trial!" Peach screamed, but was once again ignored.

The defendants watched as a scale was brought into the room. "Smasher number one, weigh in!" Bowser ordered.

A few minions led Mario to the scale and placed him on it. "Hey! Don't I get to take off my shoes?" he asked, "That's not fair!"

"Five hundred pounds!" Bowser Jr. informed, the koopa having manipulated the measurements beforehand.

"Congratulations! You've earned a five hundred year long stay at Club Smash-atraz!" Bowser cried as if he were announcing the prizes for a game show.

"Five hundred years in Smash-atraz prison?" Luigi asked, trembling.

"Hey! It could have been life!" Bowser Jr. said, "Relax! You'll be up for parole in a century or two."

"Son, show them what they've won!" Bowser ordered.

Bowser Jr. released a projectile screen from the ceiling. "Ouch!" he cried as the screen unrolled and conked him on the head. Then, he cleared his throat and stared at the Smashers. "Your trip will begin with a cruise across Glacier Bay to the island prison of Smash-atraz!"

Luigi gulped as a massive blue and orange fish poked its giant head out of the water. The prison itself was an old, crumbling building on a tall, snowy summit in the middle of a small island in the center of the bay.

Bowser Jr. continued. "Best of all, your stay will be uninterrupted by escapes! No one has ever left this maximum security dungeon!"

The defendants all mirrored the looks of dread on each other's faces.

Three hours later, Mario, Luigi, peach, and Toon link had been transported across the freezing bay on a boat, and were led inside the old prison.

"Well, at least we got rid of that creepy Judge Bowser," Toon Link ventured.

"Quiet!" Bowser Jr. snapped, "Warden Bowser doesn't allow prisoners to talk!"

"Warden Bowser?" Luigi questioned.

To their dismay, the Koopa King had come with them all the way to Smash-atraz, and now entered the room. "I had so much fun being your evil judge, I decided to be your cruel warden!" he laughed with wicked pleasure. "Show the prisoners to their cells!"

The four captives grimaced as they were led away, unsure if they would ever see the outside of the prison walls again.

Meanwhile, in one of the cold, dark prison cells, a man with graying blonde hair wearing a weathered, forest-green tunic scratched a tally into the stone wall with a tiny, sharp arrow that the Primid guards had failed to confiscate. "Let's see now," he muttered, "that's fifty-four years, seven months, and nine days…"

Dungeons were this man's specialty, but he hadn't expected to spend so much time actually locked up in one. Magic and adventure had been a big part of his early life, and spending so much time away from all that was almost more than he could stand. Potions and fairies had done wonders for the hero's health and overall lifespan, and his Time Ocarina had allowed him to glimpse places and events beyond his world, but he hadn't expected to spend most of his prolonged days in a cold dark cell.

The man turned when he heard several pairs of footsteps headed toward him. The warden's son had come with a few more prisoners, three of which were quickly forced into his cell.

"Not you, princess! Girls have their own cell!" Bowser Jr. said, "Looks like you've got company, fairy boy!"

"It's about time!" the man in green said irritably, though his blue eyes shone with the fire of courage. "I've been alone in this prison for thirty years now, and you know how misery loves company."

Mario and the others jumped in shock as the heavy prison door slammed behind them, the noise like a metallic sonic boom.

"If you need anything just yell!" Bowser Jr. said, and led the princess away without another word. Of course, the Smashers doubted anyone would hear them. They had nothing else to do, so for now, they decided to get to know their cell-mate.

"Hi! I'm Mario!" the red capped plumber introduced, "This is my brother Luigi, and our friend Toon Link!"

"Toon Link, huh?" the man asked, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be from Outset Island within the Great Sea, would you?"

"Sure! My grandma is Aryl!"

"You're Aryl's grandson?"

"Yeah! Do you know her?"

"She's a descendant of mine. I'm Link, your ancestor!"

Toon Link almost teared up at hearing this news. "Link!"

Link's smile broadened. "Toon Link!"

Both Hylians embraced one another, experiencing the bitter-sweetness of seeing a somewhat familiar face in this dungeon.

Luigi saw his brother wipe a tear from his eye. "Are you crying because you're happy Toon Link finally found his ancestor?"

"No. Sad. Because that's what Toon Link will look like in fifty years if we don't get out of here." Mario answered with exasperation.

Later on, Mario and his friends were gathered in the mess hall for dinner. Peach was with them as well, but unfortunately, the food was less than appetizing.

"What is this stuff?" Mario asked, staring at the food on his plate with disgust.

"They call it Bowser Surprise because it looks and smells like Bowser." Link explained.

"If Bowser thinks I'm going to shovel that stuff into my face, he's crazy!" Mario protested.

"Hey!" Luigi piped up, "That gives me an idea! We could shovel our way out of Smash-atraz with these!" he held up his silver spoon.

"All the way under the bay?" Toon Link asked incredulously, "That'd take twenty years!"

"So? You have anything better to do, Toon Link?" Peach asked defiantly.

"Wait! If we could make it outside the prison walls, we could take one of the boats!" Mario suggested.

"Shh!" Link said, putting a finger to his lips. He motioned to a few Primid guards who were watching. "That's an excellent idea," he agreed in a hushed tone, "but, they always count the spoons after meals."

"Then we'll just have to create a little distraction," Mario said. He stood up on his chair and hefted his plate. "This food stinks! You eat it!" Mario hurled his food at the nearest Primid, who looked up just in time to catch a face-full of Bowser Surprise.

"Food Fight!" Toon Link cried. He threw his tray and struck another guard in the chest, splattering food everywhere.

"Ready… Aim… Fire!" Link hurled his plate like a boomerang, catching two Primids and knocking them down one after the other.

 _Bweet! Bweet! Bweet!_ The fighting ceased at the sharp, shrill sound of a guard's whistle, and to the prisoners' horror, the warden walked into the room.

"So, you don't like the food?" Bowser asked, "In that case, try going without it!"

"No food?" Mario complained, "For how long?"

"Until I get back from conquering the princess's kingdom. I figure… at least ten years."

"Ten years?" Luigi cried, his eyes wide with disbelief, "We'll be goners!"

"You won't get away with this, Bowser!" Peach yelled.

"Of course I will! With you four locked here in Smash-atraz, I can demolish and pillage all I want!" He turned to his son. "Junior, take the prisoners back to their cells, and while I'm destroying the princess's kingdom, let them starve!"

So there they were, prisoners in Smash-atraz, doomed to starve, while Bowser was about to go plunder the princess's kingdom. It was time for a jail-break.

Mario, Luigi, Link, and Toon Link struggled to pry one of the loose tiles away from their cell floor. They pulled with all their strength, and the tile broke free and flew from their hands. It hit the ceiling with a loud crash, and then landed on Luigi's foot!

"Yow!" the plumber screamed, hopping around and making quite a racket.

"Shh!" Link warned, "You'll wake the guard!" The hero pointed at Wario, who was asleep on a stool. Thankfully, he stayed that way, and the four Smashers began to dig a tunnel with the spoons they had smuggled from the cafeteria.

Eventually, they had created a pretty decent sized tunnel, groaning with every seemingly insignificant spoonful of dirt they shoveled out. "Faster! Faster!" Mario urged.

Back in Smash-atraz, Wario was snoring away, when he awoke with a start. Drowsily, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to check on the prisoners. When he looked in their cell, he found them sitting on the ground, locked up like they should be. Glad there was nothing that needed his attention, Wario hopped back on his stool and went right back to sleep.

"Hurry!" We've got to dig our way out before he wakes up!" Link said, uncovering their tunnel, which had been concealed with all their bedding. The four of them jumped down the hole they had made and started digging once more.

A few hours passed, each one seeming like days, and the Smashers still shoveled, adding to their tunnel.

"How much farther do we have to dig?" Mario asked, struggling against the pain in his arms and legs.

"According to my calculations, we should be right outside the front gate!" Link reported. The four of them stacked themselves on top of one another and started digging upwards. It was even slower work than digging down, but the hope of freedom kept them at it.

"We must be close," Mario said, "I can hear someone sawing wood!"

Indeed, the roar of a chainsaw echoed through the tunnel. Newly invigorated by this news, the prisoners began to dig faster.

Meanwhile, Bowser was asleep- that is until a sudden jolt forced him out of bed. Bowser tumbled to the floor. "What's going on?" he asked groggily, "A Koopa needs his beauty rest!" He turned on the light and looked around, and was furious with what he saw.

Bowser rubbed his eyes, as if to wipe mist from them. "This better be a bad dream, plumber," he said to the escaped prisoner, who had the misfortune of tunneling into the Koopa king's room, "because if it's not, you're in deep trouble!"

Later that night, Princess Peach received a visit from the Koopa king himself. "Do you know what your friends did?" Bowser asked irritably, "They interrupted my sleep! How can I plunder your kingdom if I don't get my rest?"

"What did you do to them, Bowser?" Peach demanded furiously, worried for her fellow Smashers.

"When I'm tired, I get cranky," Bowser explained with a sinister chuckle, "I put them in solitary confinement and gave them five hundred more years of hard labor."

The next day, the four escapees were in the prison's courtyard, surrounded by high cement walls, breaking rocks with large picks under the burning sun and singing rhymes to keep their spirits up.

When the guards were tired of the heat, the prisoners had to wash clothes under Bowser Jr's supervision. "Scrub faster!" the Koopaling ordered.

"We're out of soap!" Mario protested truthfully.

"Then grab some more!"

Mario walked over to the bucket and took out a few bars of soap, thinking of a plan to escape. He hid some extra soap bars in his clothes, in case they'd be needed, and walked back to where his friends were working.

"Attention, Smash-atraz prisoners! Time to go back to your cells!" Bowser Jr. announced to the four captives, who were all chained up in a line. If Mario was going to tell the others of his plan, he had to act now.

He turned his head a fraction of an inch to face Luigi, his lips parting only slightly as he whispered to his brother. "I have a plan! We're breaking out of here! Be ready to go just before dawn. Pass it along."

Luigi nodded and whispered to Toon Link, who relayed the message to Link.

As soon as he was alone in his cell, Mario pulled out all the soap he had snuck from the laundry room and began his difficult task, using a nail file and whatever else he had smuggled in to whittle and craft the soap to fit his designs. Finally, he had compacted and shaped the soap into a perfectly round, smooth ball.

"Now, a little shoe polish and some glow-in-the-dark paint…" Mario colored the surface of the soap orb, dividing it into four sections with the shoe polish, and filled them in with a blending rainbow of shining paint. "and I've got a Smash Ball good enough to fool Wario!"

Time for phase two. Mario put his Smash Ball close by him. "Help!" he yelled, banging his fist against the metal wall of his cell, "There's a big ugly Pider in here!" Mario knew the guard wouldn't care enough to get rid of the web-spitting insect, even if it were really there. "My yelling's gonna keep you up all night unless you get this Pider out of here!"

But, when Wario opened Mario's cell, he was met with quite the surprise.

"One false move and you'll be KO'd, Wario!" Mario said, raising a fist over the Smash Ball as if to break it. "Let's have those keys!"

"Waah!" Wario cried in shock, too sleepy to realize that the Smash Ball was fake, and handed over the keys without resistance.

Mario snatched them up and ran to free his friends. However, the whaling sirens and the search lights that now swept the halls of the prison indicated that they didn't have much time. Freeing Luigi, Link, and Toon Link was no problem, but they had to go to a whole different level to find Peach, who was surprised, yet joyful, to see her friends again.

The prisoners ran as quietly as they could through the halls, occasionally stopping to avoid the searchlight or to scare off some Primids with the fake Smash Ball.

Eventually, they made it outside, where sleet and wind pounded against their faces. Mario gasped as the raindrops began to wash the paint off of his Smash Ball. He tossed it aside, knowing they couldn't use that to scare off any more guards.

Mario and the others struggled against the storm, numb from the cold. The snow tugged at their feet with every step, and Mario wished they were ice climbers. Their clothes soaked through in a matter of seconds, and tiny snow droplets clung to their hair and faces. The blaring sirens faded behind them, though the howling wind drowned out the sound somewhat.

They couldn't go straight to the bay because of the guards waiting for them, so Mario uncovered the entrance to a pipe leading underground and the others jumped inside without hesitation, screaming as they fell down the echoing tunnel. They landed with a thud, trying to ignore the pain from the fall and get moving as quickly as possible.

Mario pulled a brick loose from the wall, and to their surprise, water poured in their small tunnel!

"Watch out!" Peach cried as the others screamed in horror. The water was getting higher as the Smashers frantically tried to break away more of the wall. When the hole was big enough, they swam through it and surfaced in the bay, right where they wanted to be.

Mario pointed to a boat and they quickly boarded the vessel. Luigi, Link, Toon Link, and Peach started rowing, but Mario had one more surprise for Smash-atraz.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a real Smash Ball he had found when they had fallen, and pounded his fist into the orb, claiming its power for himself. Mario shot a devastating inferno of flames towards the prison, melting the glacier of an island it was floating on. Without the foundation, the prison immediately tumbled into the sea, perishing from the fire and crumbling beneath the water's surface.

In the distance, Bowser and his son were paddling in the bay, trying to escape the massive, hungry fish that had its eye on them.

"Well, that's the last of Smash-atraz Prison!" Luigi said with a smile.

"You'll never have to go back, Link!" Toon Link grinned.

"Yep! I'm a free Hylian!" Link said, "Free to breathe the air, free to walk the streets!"

"Free to buy us dinner?" Mario asked, laughing at his joke.

"Sure!" Link answered eagerly, "As a matter of fact, I packed us a snack from the prison mess hall!" Mario perked up with interest, until he saw what Link pulled from his pocket. "Bread and water all around!"

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**

 **A few notes: My Turn to Shine should be updated next week. Breaking My Limits is still happening, but is going painfully slowly. Lend Me a Hand may be undergoing some updates. Feedback on what I should change would be appreciated for that one before I start revising… You can review, or PM me. Thanks, guys!**


	2. Ike and the Beanstalk

**A/N: Here's chapter two! Sorry if some characters are out-of-character. It's a parody, after all!**

Ike and the Beanstalk

Smashers Log 442:

Princess Zelda needed a hundred gold coins by tomorrow morning, or else the Smashville orphanage would have to close down. She, Marth, Ike, and PAC-Man were desperately thinking of some way to raise the money.

"I could hock my jewels!" Zelda suggested, slamming her jewelry box triumphantly on the table.

"You already hocked them," Ike pointed out, leaning forward in his seat.

"I could mortgage this cottage!" Zelda supplied.

"You already did," Marth reminded. He, Ike, and PAC-Man were the ones renting it.

The princess sighed with exasperation. "Well, you're all brilliant people. You make a suggestion."

PAC-Man glanced outside, where the royal cow was grazing, and the look on his face told Zelda all she needed to know.

"We sell the royal cow," the princess sighed, as if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Okay," Ike said, "It's your decision." He led the cow around to the front of the little cottage and turned to his royal companion. "Come on, Marth. Let's see how much we can get."

Marth nodded, and the pair ventured into town.

PAC-Man looked up at Zelda. "I think you should've sent me, princess. I know the used cow market."

"Nonsense, PAC-Man, I need you here," Zelda reasoned, "And who could possibly mess up a simple thing like selling a cow for cash?"

"Marth and Ike."

In Smashville, Marth and Ike became emerged in the cow market, surrounded by mooing cows and a musty smell. The two Smashers led their cow up to the Mii running the place.

"So, how much money are you going to give us?" Marth asked once they had explained their situation.

"She's the royal cow," Ike added on.

"Frankly, friends, there's not much demand for this model," the cow salesman answered, his white mustache bouncing up and down as he talked, "Tell you what. I really like you boys, so I'm gonna take her as a trade-in."

"We don't want a trade! We want a sell!" Ike demanded, his frustration rising.

The royal cow mooed in response.

"Right! We need money, cash, gold coins!" Ike insisted.

But, the cow salesman, who hadn't appeared to have heard them, walked up to one of the cows on the market. "Look at this here beauty," he said, explaining some of the animal's finer qualities as if he were selling a used car.

Ike groaned. "You're not listening! We don't need another cow! We need one hundred gold coins!"

The Mii just smiled a crooked grin and adjusted his big, black hat. "Well, anybody can sell a cow for gold coins!" he said.

"Hey! We're anybody!" Ike stepped forward, glad he finally got his point across, "How many gold coins are you going to give us?"

"Well, this is your lucky day, boys! I'm going to give you a bargain you'll never forget!" and the three of them began negotiating.

That night, Marth and Ike had returned to the cottage and showed Zelda their earnings, but she was less than pleased.

"You sold the cow for what?" she demanded.

"Bean seeds!" Ike said triumphantly, "Really special beans!"

"Magic beans!" Marth added, "Show her, Ike!"

Ike slowly opened his fist to reveal three green beans, their outer coats giving off a dull shine when they caught the light. "The guy at the market said we really got the sweet end of the deal."

"I don't believe this! You traded the royal cow for a handful of bean seeds?" Zelda demanded incredulously, her nose wrinkled with disgust. Even though the seeds reminded her of a certain Magic Bean salesman from her kingdom, she wasn't sure if she bought the whole 'magic' thing considering the Mii who had sold them.

"Nice going, Ike!" PAC-Man said, not even trying to hide the sarcasm in his voice, "Who wants cash money when they can have a few beans instead?"

"Gee, he made it sound like they were our answer for everything…" Ike said thoughtfully.

"Well they're not!" Zelda retorted, "And I'm allergic to those Magic Bean seeds!" The Hylian tried to hold back a sneeze, but she let it fly, and the bean seeds shot from Ike's hand and sailed out the window, landing in the soft dirt out front.

"Good riddance, princess," PAC-Man said, "I'll go to town in the morning and see if I can't con that con man out of a cow!"

"Let's hope. In the meantime we'd all better get some sleep… A-choo!" Though it was hard, everyone in the cottage eventually drifted into dream world.

The sun had just barely peeked over the mountains when PAC-Man stepped out into the cool air, ready to take his leave.

"Appeal to that salesman's sense of decency, PAC-Man," Zelda instructed, "Tell him that this is a time when we just can't be cheated."

"Don't worry, princess, I'll take care of this-!" PAC-Man headed down the path with a confident smile on his face. But, something stopped him short, and he fell on his back with an astonished 'huh?'

Zelda walked up to the round, yellow ghost-gobbler. "What's going on? Why don't you-?" Then, she looked up and gasped in utter shock.

Ike and Marth walked out into the morning light and their mouths fell open, their eyes as big as coins.

"Uh-oh!" Marth said, not sure what to make of the giant bean plant that now towered over them. The Magic Beans had sprouted overnight, and a massive, twisty, purple beanstalk stretched up to the golden early morning sky.

"Zelda!" Ike hurried up to the princess, a grin on his face. "You're gonna have a lot more money to save the orphanage than a cow could have gotten you!"

"How's that?" Zelda wondered, confused, but her eyes shone with hope.

"There are tens of millions of Magic Bean lovers in the world, and we're about to pick enough beans for them all!" The four Smashers cheered, and immediately began climbing the massive plant.

About a half hour later, they were still climbing, their spirits soaring at the thought of their soon-made accomplishment. The wind was a bit icy, but that didn't stop the Smashers from undertaking this task.

"Let's keep going and start picking from the top on down!" Ike directed.

"I don't know, Ike," Marth said, "We're already too high."

The blue haired swordsman considered this momentarily, but when he looked down and saw their cottage was nothing more than a tiny speck on the landscape, he made up his mind. "Maybe you're right, Marth. We'd better turn back because…" Ike's fist knocked against something hard and he looked up. "Hey! There's some kind of door here!"

Sure enough, the beanstalk entered a crack in a large door that hadn't been visible until the Smashers made it above the thick, white clouds in the sky.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Ike grabbed the doorframe and hoisted himself up into the room beyond. He turned back to his friends, who gazed up with wide eyes from the beanstalk. "Come on! What's to be afraid of?" he reasoned.

Marth hesitated a moment, then climbed up to join his fellow swordsman. After all, if this led to trouble, he didn't want Ike to have to face it alone.

Zelda and PAC-Man were reluctant to follow, but they pulled themselves up on the doorframe and into the mysterious room.

The four companions looked around, amazed at what they saw. The sheer vastness of the room was enough to make one stop and stare for a while.

"This room's bigger than the Altean Castle library! Wow!" Marth breathed in awe.

"And somebody awful big lives here," Zelda observed, looking at the huge table, chairs, and other furniture around the room. Everything was at least ten times their size.

"Not just big! Giant!" Ike pointed out, taken aback by the possibility.

"We should leave while we have the chance," Marth suggested, and walked briskly towards the open door. However, quick as he was, the swordsman didn't make it.

 _Crash!_ The door slammed in front of him with an earth-shaking thud, cutting off their path to the beanstalk.

The Smashers traded worried glances, then hurried over to the door to try and open it, but to no avail. "Hey, I think it's locked!" Marth groaned, straining with the effort to move the handle.

They continued to push and shove, when a noisy, steady booming sounded in their ears, growing louder, coming closer. Then, a deep voice resonated through the room, rumbling like thunder. "Fum fee fi fo. I smell Smashers down below."

The four of them dropped the door handle, jumping back as if it had burnt them. "It's Giga Bowser!" Zelda cried in horror, "He's turned himself into even more of a giant!"

"We've gotta get out of here!" Ike stated. Having left his sword back at their dwelling, fighting wasn't an option, especially against a fifty-foot tall Koopa.

The Smashers tugged on the door with all their might, but it was bolted shut.

"It won't open," Giga Bowser said with an evil chuckle as he entered the room. "Fum fee fi foo. I'm gonna cook some Smasher stew!" With that, he turned on the water and began preparing for dinner.

Marth, Ike, PAC-Man, and Zelda watched, too astonished and terrified to move, as Giga Bowser now stirred a pot of boiling water, laughing to himself occasionally.

Ike took a few deep, calming breaths and looked around. After all they had fought for in their respective homelands, he and his friends were not about to become a giant's dinner. There had to be some way out of here. "Run! I think we can make it out through that door!" Ike pointed to a huge exit across the room and the other Smashers bolted for it.

The giant merely smirked, showing two rows of sharp, white teeth. "I told you. You're staying to be my dinner!" Giga Bowser calmly reached up and yanked a chain dangling from the ceiling.

Suddenly, the large opening that was their only means of escape was blocked off by a door that lowered to the ground, and the Smashers screamed as one of their number tripped and they went sprawling to the floor, completely out of breath.

"Now will you believe me?" Giga Bowser taunted.

Ike's resolve hadn't wavered, and the blue-haired swordsman picked himself up and looked high and low, searching for another way out. "That window!" he urged, though it seemed hopeless in his mind, "Let's try!"

Marth, Zelda, and PAC-Man followed Ike's lead, though they were unsure of what he was planning, and ran across the huge, green-tiled room once more.

"Up those logs! We can make it!" Ike bolted towards a stack of perfectly cut firewood and scrambled over logs as big around as ballista wheels, the others struggling to keep up. When they reached the top, however, they were still a good ten feet from the window. "Oh, no way we can make that jump," Ike realized. He wasn't Mario.

Giga Bowser laughed, thinking he had earned both dinner and a show.

"Marth! Give me a hand with that poker there!" Ike ordered, running to retrieve the ten-foot long metal stick that Giga Bowser used to stoke his fire. Marth silently followed along, and both swordsmen brought the skewer back to the window.

"That's it… Just a little more… More…" Ike grunted, trying to bridge the gap between the logs and the window. When they finally got the poker to hook onto the window sill, Ike breathed a sigh of relief. "You first, Marth!" he volunteered.

"You first, Ike!" Marth protested, "You're older!"

"You guys!" Zelda huffed, fed up with their argument, "I'll go first!" Without hesitation, she started to walk up the narrow bridge, PAC-Man on her heals. Marth and Ike gathered their courage and followed, but when they were about to reach the window to freedom, Giga Bowser pulled another rope, closing the window shade on them.

"Aahh!" All the Smashers lost their balance and slid backwards down the narrow metal beam, landing back on the logs again.

"Fee fi fo fum. I'll lock you up 'cause it'll be fun!"

Ike gritted his teeth as the giant Koopa stomped towards them, then, he saw something that just might give them a slight advantage over their foe. "Marth! That bellows!" He pointed to a giant-sized Gust Bellows. "See those ashes?"

"I read you, Ike!" Marth responded, and the two swordsmen ran over to work the giant, brass piece of machinery.

Then, to his horror, Ike noticed that Giga Bowser had gone after Zelda and PAC-Man, who were still perched on top of the firewood. "Push, Marth!" Ike urged, throwing his weight onto the mechanism to try to aim it.

"Oh no!" Zelda and PAC-Man cried. Giga Bowser's fist had already closed tightly around them. Since there wasn't much else they could do, they both screamed, trying to get Marth and Ike's attention.

Meanwhile, the two swordsmen finally got the bellows to work, and they took turns activating the device, blowing ashes into the giant's face. Giga Bowser coughed and lost his grip on Zelda and PAC-Man, dropping them to the ground.

"There's got to be a way out!" Ike insisted, and the Smashers ran through the giant's house. "There! That other room!" The four tired companions ran through a door that was left open a crack, which in their case may as well have been open all the way because of how easily they were able to get through. They experienced a second's relief, until they saw what was in the room.

"Oh, wow!" Marth breathed in awe, his eyes popping at the sight before him. "It's a mountain of gold money!"

PAC-Man stared at the mound of glistening coins piled high as a three-story building. "It's absolutely beautiful!" he exclaimed, his eyes shining. Now they'd have enough money to save the orphanage, if they could get out of there.

"It's hideous!" Zelda contradicted, realizing the severity of the situation. "With this kind of money, Giga Bowser could rule forever!"

The Smashers were so entranced by the mountain of coins that they didn't hear Giga Bowser's footsteps until it was too late. The giant closed the door behind them with a click that sank their hearts. "That's right! Forever!" he gloated, peering at them through a slot at the top of the door, "And since you admire my gold coins so much, you may remain with them… for the rest of your lives." He chuckled. "Eventually, you'll be crushed by them. Watched this! Lay!"

Knowing Giga Bowser had to have given the command to someone, Ike looked around to find out who. He got his answer when gold coins rained down from above. Ike glanced up and saw a large, white bird suspended in a cage above the gold mound, coins dropping through the bars, adding to the already tremendous pile. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "A goose that's better than Tellius fried chicken!"

Giga Bowser cackled wickedly. "That goose will smother you Smashers!" he declared, "Lay!" The giant closed the hatch at the top of the door as more coins cascaded down onto the Smashers' heads.

"Hey! Giga Bowser!" Ike ran up to the door and repeatedly slammed his fist into the hard wood. "I hope your big and tall shop blows up! With you in it!" But, then he heard a squawky female voice from high above and he looked at the goose in the cage.

"Can you help me?" the goose asked, "I've gotta get out of here!"

"You've gotta get out of here?" Ike demanded, "What about us?"

"I know a way if you can get me down," the goose answered.

Ike considered this for a moment, then, reluctantly, he clambered up the massive coin pile, the sliding coins making his footing unsteady. "I shouldn't help you. Because of all your coin-laying for Giga Bowser!" But, Ike couldn't abandon someone in need, and he broke the lock of the cage with impressive strength. "There!"

"Phew! What a relief!" the goose said as she and Ike retreated down the coin pile, "you've got me wrong! He makes me do it with a magic spell."

"Well, where's the way out?" Ike pressed.

"Under there!" the goose pointed with her wing at the pile of gold. "Before the coins covered it, I saw part of the Magic Beanstalk creep through a tiny crack!"

Hope now glimmering in their hearts, the Smashers proceeded to dig through the pile of gold coins in search of their escape route.

"Look! The crack's gotten bigger!" the goose observed.

"We're good as gone!" Ike said, lowering himself onto the limb of the plant. "Everybody ready?"

Everyone followed the swordsman onto the beanstalk and they half-ran half-slid down the tall, twisty plant, enjoying their newly earned freedom.

They were about halfway down, when Zelda glanced over her shoulder. "Oh no! Giga Bowser found we're missing and summoned his Beetles!"

Sure enough, winged, yellow insects capable of carrying Smashers up into the air were crawling down the beanstalk after Ike and his friends. "Only one way to fight them!" he observed. He picked one of the Magic Bean pods off of the beanstalk and threw it at the advancing Beetles. The other Smashers did the same, hitting every last insect with magic bean pods until they had all been knocked away.

"Nice job, guys!" Ike commended once the Beetles were defeated.

"It's not over yet," PAC-Man cautioned, "Giga Bowser could use this beanstalk to come after us. Their hearts pounding furiously, the Smashers made their way down the beanstalk with the goose, not resting until they reached the bottom.

Marth jumped the last few feet down and ran for the cottage. "I've got just the thing for this beanstalk," he said as he unsheathed Falchion, his divine blade. Immediately, he set to work, hacking at the giant plant that had caused them so much trouble.

"How can I ever thank you?" the goose asked once they were a safe distance away.

"With gold coins, maybe?" Ike suggested, "Zelda here could use them to save the orphanage."

"Sorry, but without Giga Bowser and his magic spell, all you get are plain, old eggs. Like one?"

"Forget it!" Ike wasn't in the mood for food when his friend's kingdom was in a crisis.

"Timber!" Marth called as the mighty beanstalk split with a crack like thunder, proving no match for the Altean's steel. Then, to the Smashers' surprise, glittering, round objects fell from the sky like rain.

"Coins? And more coins!" Ike exclaimed, gazing in astonishment and relief at the monetary miracle raining down upon them.

"The orphanage is safe!" Zelda declared with joy.

However, coins weren't the only things that fell from high places. The massive plant toppled over, taking a screaming Giga Bowser along with it, and the giant Koopa fell right into a lake.

Giga Bowser crawled out of the water, but found that something wasn't right. Why did his foes look so large? "Aw, no! They've shrunk me!" he whined.

Everyone was laughing now. "Not your day, Giga Bowser!" Ike taunted.

"This is just a small set-back!" The now shrunken Koopa declared, "I'll be back, bigger than ever!" and he ran away beyond the mountains. The Smashers burst into gales of fresh laughter, which they needed after their terrifying adventure.

"What a day! What a day!" Ike exclaimed, though it had only been a few hours, "I'm starving!"

"Me, too!" Marth agreed, rubbing his stomach.

"Famished!" PAC-Man said.

"Good! Have an egg!" the goose exclaimed, eager to solve their problem. A second later, a sparkling, golden egg landed at her feet, much too hard to be cracked, let alone eaten. She looked down at it, disappointed. "Oh, I am sorry. I'll try again." The Smashers waited, but all she managed to produce was a second golden egg. "Aww, it's a shame when you can't help your friends…"

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't know what I'll post next. Hopefully an update of a current story… I guess we'll see, won't we?**


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